Poo Corner

Please be aware that this is another gross post about human waste. Reader Beware!

With much deliberation after viewing them, I have decided not to post my terribly graphic and disgusting post-laxative crime scene. It just wouldn't be very nice and I don't want to accidentally look at them either. I will use them for my original purpose instead: to email my husband in California to show him what fun he is missing at home. Before I get any further, let me clarify that this disaster spanning 2 rooms was caused by my little boy and not myself. Just in case you were wondering. The story is a little long and complex quite like the Little Guy's GI history. Short version is he was a miserable kid and I thought it might help things a little to give him a laxative as his Dr. suggested. I normally wouldn't do that on my own, but just trust me that things are a lot more complicated than I wish they were. These things are supposed to take about 6+ hours to "kick-in". Note to self: an hour might be more accurate for Little Guy. He took his nap and I think you can picture the rest in your head if you must. Stuff happens. Whatever. Can't be mad about it, but the problem is (as usual) he tries to take care of things himself and let's just say I need an industrial strength Rug Doctor again. Please don't suggest that we invest in a carpet cleaner because seriously, we need the big monster heavy duty one that you probably can't even buy if you aren't going in to business. Hey, now there is a thought. With all of our experience we will a perfect fit for the carpet cleaning business. I can see the cheesy commercials now with me, the Carpet Queen, the star of the show. We will have so much work locally that Hubby will never have to travel away for 10 days straight again. I digress. Anyway, he will be going on Friday to get the machine, although he does not know it yet. No resting after his trip or getting caught up on email. Crack! (that was my pretend whip, but who are we kidding, I am leaving as soon as I can get out of here and they can sit around and look at the poo-carpet all they want.)

I am by no stretch of the imagination a Pollyanna. I vent a lot on this blog, but I am not really a terribly negative person either. I know you can't tell, but remember, I am CRANKY this week! My point is that I don't really walk into a poo-covered room and feel thankfulness about anything even though I'm sure there is a lot to be glad about. Because I am so grouchy this week and anticipate a few more gripes coming, I am going to look on the sunny side of life and list the good things about this experience.

It could have been worse (I hate this one the MOST!)
It wasn't new carpet that has never seen poo before.
A LOT of it (you would have to see the pic to believe) was in the tub for easy cleanup
I probably needed to throw away some things in the bathroom and this gave me the chance.
I held it together surprisingly well and didn't yell or lose it.
I had much sympathy for Little Guy (until he started telling me the spots I was missing)
On my hands and knees scrubbing will give me an extra Loser-exercise journal entry.
I must have burned lots of calories! Skinny jeans, here I come!
I am so behind on laundry that a few more loads to do won't matter.
He was outgrowing that underwear anyway so great to be able to throw it away early.
I have more proof for Hubby that I really should have called my blog "Save the Carpet"

That is it. That is all I have.

As it turns out, there may have been a virus going on as well. You didn't think it could get worse did you? I'll spare you and just casually say that we were up all night, I am tired and he is fine now.

I really hope this is my last laxative related post. I can't possibly promise that at this time. I can't wait to see what Google Ads get generated from this.

Know-it-all-six-year-old

I should have asked the Big Guy where "Banana Pants" came from in the first place. He was available for questioning tonight at dinner when the Little Guy was calling my sweet Baby Girl that continuously.

Dora the Explorer. We have a DVD...

Still annoying.

Banana Pants

Sorry, it sounds bad.

I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard that said in my home. Oh what the heck, while I am wishing, make it $100. My four year old says it all the time to everyone including his baby sister. I'm not sure where it came from or where he picked it up. Considering he says "vijulay" all the time, he may have made it up. He cackles when he says it and I'm not really sure if it is a term of endearment or a insult. It could be a combination.

My six year old has graduated to making people say "under where?" so he can say "I made you say underwear!" Both of them think it is hysterical.

My sense of humor must be dulled by now because I really don't think any of it is funny. After 5,634 times of hearing it, it loses its charm.

Yep, still cranky. My biggest-loser, self-inflicted diet is not making me any less rigid. I'm also tired from the Little Guy being up all night and early morning sick. Pajama Day! Our favorite! It is actually mixed up pajama day with Red Flannel Christmas PJ bottoms and Camouflage top. It isn't pretty and probably not that comfortable. Maybe I'm not so rigid after all (or have simply given up) because that doesn't bother me at all and my house is a disaster area (bothers me a little). I do wish he would stop saying banana pants, though.

Note: I just Googled "Banana Pants" and found many different things. None would have been where he got it or at least I hope not!

Seis de Mayo

He is starting to look more like his dad, although the mustache is more like mine.

Ole

Happy Cinco de Mayo everyone.

I forgot and missed my chance for a margarita. I really needed one tonight too. Just wait until I get around to uploading my next set of pictures and you will know why.

Consider this a teaser although if you know my Little Guy, it won't be much of a surprise at all.

Going Nowhere Monday

I've seen her do the airplane a few times and I know that is the start of it. It won't be long before she is going places and not just rolling there.

Did you think this post was about me? Another whiny post about being home alone with 3 kids? I hate to disappoint. I am just too tired to moan right now.

What a $100 gets you

Apparently, a night out cost me that much.

After much preparation and a crying Baby Girl who was off her schedule because of new teeth, I left my kids with a babysitter. My boys were bored all day and were promised a movie night in hopes that it would make things easier for same babysitter. I got a pedicure and read a gossip magazine that had the best pages already torn out. A friend met me and we decided to go see Made of Honor at the theater even though the babysitter saw it and said it was a "renter". I never go to movies or rent them (plus it was the only time that worked for us) so we went anyway.

We were about 15 minutes late, but my girlfriend insisted we were only missing previews. I had a hard time buying my ticket out of the ATM because I don't get out much and also Hubby usually does that. I was going to get a diet coke even though I knew it would keep me up all night long (2AM to be exact). The guy in front of me took forever. He couldn't make up his mind about popcorn? I'm sure he was heavily weighing the decision to spend one more quarter for the bigger size. I told the girl behind the counter not to upsale me because I only wanted the small size no matter how much the next one cost. I used to work in a theater in my younger years as you can so easily tell by my expertise in the cup and bag size department. Anyway, I ended up with the medium size. My friend worked for Coke and said they are told to fill it with mostly ice so you have to get the big size so I said "and don't fill it full of ice". I ended up with a warm Diet Coke with melted ice and totally deserved that (and only drank half of it I might add). We realized when we presented our ticket to get to our theater that our tickets say something goofy like it is expired. We did pay our money and had the receipt for proof. I tried to convince the teenager to just let us through since we paid and it would be okay. We could talk to the manger later to fix his numbers, but we were late for our movie and we were paying for babysitters and needed a break. Well, she wouldn't budge and we had to start our long walk across the multiplex to talk to the manager. My friend calculated that the walk cost us $8 in babysitter fees and don't think I didn't tell him. He said to go back and it would be okay to just go in and that we had missed 17 minutes of the actual movie. "I told that girl it would be okay and she wasn't moving so you better go tell her". We had an escort from some very important theater person just to make sure the small teenager let us in. No, I have not always been this difficult. It has come with age, I think. Skip ahead and we walk in, the movie is playing and the theater is full. Really full, like nowhere to sit. Except on the front row. I am exaggerating, I think we actually sat on the third row. My friend suggested we ask someone watching the movie what we had missed (20 minutes into it). That is when I got the giggles. They were so bad that I had to go out and miss a little more of the movie. I dared her and was totally willing to pay up for that entertainment. I told her it was the same plot as My Best Friend's Wedding and don't worry about what we missed. So, we leaned way back so we could look straight up at McDreamy. It was terribly uncomfortable, especially after an hour and I really hope that I used some extra muscles and burned many calories while sitting there. I have goals now for weightloss and don't care how I get to them...

When I got home the babysitter said that the Little Guy gave her a hard time.
I apologized and did not say "join the club".
It must have been really bad for her to actually tell me. She said he didn't listen to anything she said so that is when I said "well, join the club!"
No, I am totally kidding. I just tipped her big. I also had to tip the pedicurist big for working on my ugly feet. It was only fair.

On my way home from my tennis match tonight, I called my friend in Virginia and complained about being homebound with my children and no Hubby in sight for 4 more days. She said I was gone every night and what was I complaining about. I had to laugh hard at that. I had to set her straight on how HARD it was to get out, though. Tonight I had to go pick up my invalid Aunt due to her broken arm to watch my kids and threaten them not to go near her or touch her arm or they would lose PB&J sandwiches for a month. And yesterday I went through another disposable babysitter - I use them once and they never come back.

Biggest Loser

I took this picture on my son's school playground. How does she know to do that? Hmmm.

Anyway, today I joined a team challenge at my gym for a summer slimdown contest. They haven't announced what the grand prize will be and it better be money or I don't think I will have enough incentive. It needs to be enough to compensate me for waking a sleeping baby, parking a mile away and dragging three kids in the pouring rain in to my mandatory meeting this morning.

My body is feeling as back normal as it is going to get after a few kids and I'm ready to try and get the rest of Baby Girl-weight off. I would be totally fine with losing 20 lbs, but am willing to be gaunt and go to 30 if it means winning some money.

I am on a team with 5 other people and know two of them really well. We got a t-shirt and a journal and are supposed to work with our team for 12 weeks to reach our goals. The weigh-in and "before" picture were not as humiliating as I expected. The only problem is that I think my teammates may be too skinny. There is another team I scoped out with larger people. I believe they may go by body weight loss percentage so maybe we are okay. I realized after talking with my teammates about our plan of action that this may take a lot of exercise and not eating as much. Work. I am already feeling hungry and have a headache. I never did get my Houston's hamburger....I did eat the rest of the oreos, though. The babysitter actually comes in a hour and I am going out with a friend for some fun. If we happen to go to a movie, I hope I don't fall asleep. She is one of my teammates so I am guessing we won't eat anything good. That is her daughter in the middle so you can see with an offspring with that much personality we are sure to have fun. (sidenote: That is also the little girl that my Big Guy got Baby Girl's name from.)

Dinner

Let's hire a babysitter and go out for dinner tonight.

Let's go to Houston's and get my favorite cheeseburger. It is the best thing EVER.

It will be so much better than the Oreos I had for dinner last night. Don't worry, I had a vitamin and I am trying to eat as much as possible before tomorrow (more on that later).

I want my own dessert - I don't want to share tonight. Something simple like the hot fudge brownie will do.

Here's Lookin' at Trouble

This would have been Too-tired-to-talk-Thursday, except it is already Friday.

May Day! May Day!

9 years today. Sometimes it feels like 9 months and other times like 90 years. I'll celebrate with a PB&J sandwich with the boys because Hubby is out of town for the next 9 days.

Good wedding memory: The Grooms Cake. It was a very large chocolate cake in the shape of an airplane with white icing. I was starving and it was out of this world. When we took pictures, I stood and ate half of a wing. I wish I had some of it now.

Bad: The clown-like videographer that kept telling my photographer to move out of the way. He told me more than once that if my house was burning down I would run for his video before anything else. I have no idea where that video is now. Pictures are better because you can't hear how dorky I sound. He tried to interview us and when he asked how I was feeling all I could think of was "I'm really hungry". I really was! My husband in contrast went on and on about how he felt. He didn't let me pick out the music or even approve it so now I have a wedding video including music an old boyfriend once told me I would always think of him whenever I heard it. Shoot.

"Let me see it."

The Little Guy can't wait to lose his teeth.

I would have to be a dentist to wiggle more teeth than I do.