Thursday, June 12, 2008

Vacation: Part 1

Day 1: Last Saturday (5/31/08): Spent all morning packing car. I was mad because Hubby didn't do enough or move fast enough. Trip began and I fell asleep. I slept hard and woke up to find that we were still only in the first hour of the trip. Stopped at a McDonalds for lunch and Hubby really outdid himself. He always finds the worst one and this one was complete with 50 flies buzzing our heads as I tried to feed Baby Girl peas. Hubby told me to "be nice to him." We got to our hotel, unloaded and put the kids to bed. We were starving and I sent Hubby out into hotel to avoid paying $25 on two hamburgers with room service. He spent $30 and comes back with a Turkey Burger and BLT. The Little Guy begs for food so we let him get up and have a bite. Sometimes we forget to feed them. Squeaky wheel gets the oil...

Day 2: Hubby went to his conference in the hotel and I try to entertain the kids. We had breakfast and walked around looking at all the swell amenities. We took a walk to Disney's Boardwalk and went in the first air conditioned store I found. Little Guy spits on the floor and we had to leave. It was dead on the Boardwalk and HOT. I took them to an arcade and spent $15 on video games. It was so loud that no one noticed or minded Baby Girl screaming. I took the boys down a little further and bought us all ice cream for lunch. The Big Guy told me "you are being so nice to us." Diet is blown. We had to inhale the ice cream cones because they are melting so fast. We went back for naps and the promise of swimming if they were good. Everyone is in bed and I am the only one that sleeps. Little Guy pushed his luck too much. We got lathered in sunscreen and the maid called to ask if she can clean the room. We got out quickly and took Baby Girl for her first swim. They had a fun slide that I wouldn't let the Little Guy go on because it emptied in the deep end. He told me to "put that baby down so you can catch me." The pool was fun although the Little Guy had to get out 3 times to go to the bathroom. 3 times we got out, dried off, packed up and went inside the building. After the 3rd time, I said we are just going in for good. Once he locked himself in a bathroom stall and climbed out underneath. I couldn't get him to go back under and I noticed days later it was still locked. Sorry, hotel people.

Hubby skipped a work thing and we all went to Downtown Disney that night.

We had to take the bus instead of the hotel boat. Hubby tried to convince me a boat is better by telling me that it is more fun and a bus is for common folk. We are common folk so I still don't get it.

They boys played at Legoland and later built their own lightsabers. Luckily I was outside feeding Baby Girl so I couldn't be embarrassed.

Fit was thrown by the Little Guy when we left.

Day 3: The next few days were spent at my Aunt's house. Hubby stayed behind and I loaded up the pack-n-play and 1,500 bags (it seemed). I was locked out of our hotel room because my key wouldn't work. I had to go through many hoops with security to get back in. What a cool job it would be to pretend to be a Mom with 3 kids breaking into Hotel rooms. Good thing those security dudes are on their toes. Too bad they didn't know about my PMS, though.

I finally made my way to what I thought would be total relaxation at my Aunt's house. She wasn't there when we arrived so I spent an hour trying to keep the boys from breaking anything and answering all their questions about why things were different in her house. Why is that table in a new place? Why did she get a new TV? Where are the toys? Where is the piano? Where is she? I fell asleep as soon as she arrived to watch my kids. Ahhhh.

She fed us well and it was a pretty good time. I'll spare you the gory details and just say that the boys were really bad. Maybe it was my lack of patience and PMS that made them seem worse than usual. I know the Big Guy can get out-of-whack when he is out of his normal routine and there was probably too much TV and some boredom for them. It all ended in the Little Guy having a meltdown and flushing his toothbrush down the toilet. I bet you didn't think it would actually go down, did you? I wouldn't have either if I had not seen it myself. I fear there will be a breakdown in some large Florida septic tank. If you hear of that, please don't turn us in. I hope that Go Diego Go toothbrush is never traced back to us. My Aunt didn't seem too bothered by it (because she is sweet) and told me she didn't sweat the small stuff. I'm not convinced yet that it isn't big stuff. A side note: last time we were there four of us were sick throwing up or with you know, the other side of things. My kids somehow manage to lick Disney World every time we go and almost always get sick. Anyway, my Aunt had a septic or water problem where we couldn't flush the toilet or wash the sheets the kids were throwing up all over. Aren't you glad I shared? My point is that my Aunt goes through that stuff with a smile on her face and most definitely should be Sainted. I don't know why she doesn't disown us.


Jessica said...

I'm a lurker, I just wanted to tell you I enjoyed reading about your vacation and the comments about little guy spitting on the floor and flushing his tooth brush cracked me up. Very entertaining writing!

Mary C said...

Even when writing about frustrating stuff, you manage to be so funny. I love the "Put that baby down so you can catch me" line!

You are my hero for taking all 3 of them to the pool by yourself. Now YOU need a vacation!

Kristin said...

Seriously, Lisa, how on earth do you do it?!? I am laughing hysterically over here, but I doubt I would be able to see the funny side if my family was getting sick all over someone else's house with no water works! I enjoyed the comment that you kids lick Disney World; that pretty much says it all. But I probably would have a heart attack if I had three little kids in a pool with no other grown-ups slated to supervise. Can the BG and LG both swim? Heck, can Baby Girl swim? I just saw a Today Show clip where parent were trying to teach babies how not to drown by throwing them fully clothed into a pool. Yeah. That would really give me a heart attack!